A Joke Per Day - everyday update

[RichYou]

There was a lady from the countryside who came to the city and checked into a hotel.
Then she said to the bellman, "I refuse to take a tiny room like this, with no window and no bed in it! You can't treat me like a fool just because I don't travel much! I'm going to complain to the manager!"
So the bellman said very politely, "Madam,this isn't your room. It's the elevator!"...

 

[RichYou]

The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled.
His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum.
Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms. When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
"Cry?" John asked, "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"

 

[RichYou]

A man is walking by an insane asylum and hears all the　residents chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen!"
Quite curious about all this, he finds a hole in the fence,　looks in and someone pokes him in the eye.
Everyone in the asylum starts chanting "Fourteen! Fourteen!"

 

[RichYou]

they?re all in here!

The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor?s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell. So one Visitor?s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, ?I notice you?ve never had any visitors, George.? Sympathetic, he put his hand on George?s shoulder, ?Tell me, don?t you have any friends or family?? George replied, ?Oh, sure I do, Warden. It?s just that they?re all in here!?

 

[RichYou]

A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense.
He didn't want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, "Don't worry. You'll never have to go to jail with all that money."
And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn't have a dime.

 

[RichYou]

Two people were going fishing. They went a long way to buy the equipment, bait and a video camera.
Then they drove to the seaside. The roads were bad, and their car was badly damaged, with dents here and there. Most of their equipment was damaged, too.
After they reached the seaside, they caught only one fish. One of them said, "Business was really bad today. Do you know how much we spent on this one fish alone?"
The other answered, "Of course, I do. We spent two thousand dollars on just this one. It is a little too much!"
The first person then said, "Good thing we didn't catch more, or the costs would have been even higher. Two thousand dollars for one fish!"

 

[RichYou]

A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital.
The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. "you’re in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker".
The man quickly responds, "the attorney’s".
"Wait! Don’t you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"
The man says, "I already know enough. Social workers have bleeding hearts and the attorney’s probably never used his. So I’ll take the attorney’s!"